[New post] Is It Rude to Tell a Host about Food Dislikes or Other Dietary Restrictions?: 1923 and 2023
Sheryl posted: " Some things that were considered polite a hundred years ago, are no longer considered polite and vice versa. Whether a guest should tell a host about food dislikes or dietary restrictions has changed across the years. In 1923, it was considered polite" A Hundred Years Ago
Some things that were considered polite a hundred years ago, are no longer considered polite and vice versa. Whether a guest should tell a host about food dislikes or dietary restrictions has changed across the years. In 1923, it was considered polite to eat what was served, whether or not the guest liked it. Allergies were not generally considered. Here's what it said in the introduction to a 1923 cookbook:
Personal culinary dislikes are not assets to boast of, though most people seem to think they are. They are liabilities to be got rid of as quickly as possible. Learn to like the things that are good for you. Can't. Bosh! Nonsense! And again, tut, tut! I guess I know. I did it.
Up to my twenties I ate only bread, meat, potatoes, and sweets. I got sick - very sick- and suffered more than I should have suffered had I eaten properly. That was one reason for waking up and behaving. There were two others though.
First - if other people ate and relished all these things I despised, they must be good, and I was missing something. I wished to miss nothing.
Second- I discovered my limited diet made me a terror to hostesses. People dreaded to invite me, as I since have dreaded to invite people with limited tastes. No one likes to have to keep a card index system of the intricate dislikes of one's friends. It's a nuisance. I realized this as I saw harassed glances at things I wasn't eating. I was unhappy. I didn't want the particular hostess of the moment to worry about me, but she did, of course, and I do not like to be a worry and a bother to other folks, and I do like to be invited out. I was afraid if I didn't reform I'd be an unwelcome guest. So I set to work. Seafoods, salads, vegetables - I can eat 'em all, though I freely acknowledge there are some I like better than others, and coconut and caraway seeds still do go down very, very hard, and only when I'm being polite. I am hoping to like them eventually.
The Calorie Cook Book (Mary Dickerson Donahey, 1923)
Proper etiquette has changed across the years. Here is what it said in Reader's Digest in a 2023 article:
Not Telling Your Host about your Dietary Restrictions
If you have food allergies or other dietary restrictions, you're probably well aware that talking about what gluten does to your tummy doesn't make for the most artful dinner party conversation starter. If you're a vegetarian, you might also not want to force them to cater to you. (After all, there's always a salad or a side dish, right?) Accordingly, you may be under the impression that when invited to a dinner party, the politest course of action is to keep your dietary concerns to yourself and hope there will be something you can eat.
But if you don't talk to your host about this in advance, it could be awkward for both you (you'll go hungry) and them (they'll definitely notice if you're not eating the food they've put on the table and wonder why). Remember: They've taken a lot of time to prepare the meal and want you, as their guest, to be happy.
Do this instead: If you have dietary issues, mention them to your host in advance. Then you can decide, together, what works best for both of you and for the sake of the party's flow.
No comments:
Post a Comment