I've known for a long time that writing is something I love. It's something I'm good at, it's something I enjoy, and I have always viewed it as one of my gifts from God. I love to imagine and create from that imagination. My imagination is pretty vivid—which helps and hurts at times—and I typically see a story before I'm able to write it down.

The thing is, I have kept this gift to myself for a long time—particularly in terms of creative writing. I've shared it in pieces and parts over the years, but I've never fully committed to setting my gift out into the world. Fortunately for me, God is loving and patient. He has allowed me to work at my own pace, and I have finally started walking in my gift by completing and self-publishing my first book.

Two things prompted this movement.

1) I wrote a short story in one day and submitted it for publication in a literary journal last year and it was accepted and published. I only had a short note which gave me the frame for the story—it had been in a notebook in the back of my closet—but I was able to create an entire world, characters, history, future, tradition, lessons... I wrote an entire story in one day without overthinking it (I'd look up the literary journal and turned out the deadline for submission was the following day) and it was good enough for someone to want to share with other people. That was the confirmation of my gift that I needed.

2) I scheduled a "Career Clarity Call" which turned out to be purely a sales pitch for a program along with guilt tripping me into spending my entire savings on the program (because I would give it to my momma if she were in need and that's reason enough to invest in myself) and shaming my "I'll think and pray bout it" as if I weren't actually going to pray about it and instead was using that as an excuse to not do better for myself. I did pray about it, though. I wrote down the balances of all my checking and savings accounts (I was not(!) going to sell my car as suggested) and figured out how much I would have left if I were to invest in this program ($0). Then it came to me—and I don't remember if I heard, thought, or remembered this—"you already know what to do." I emailed the lady the following day and told her she was right, I did need to put my money where my mouth was and not just talk a big game. I'd already been given instruction on what I needed to do and the money I had saved would not be going to her program, but to what I was being called to do. Of course, she asked what I thought I was being called to do (it felt accusatory, but it was an email, so... [shrugs shoulders]). I told her I needed to finish publishing the book I'd started. Those stories were no longer mine and needed to be in the world and I was going to be obedient. She did offer to connect me with someone who specializes in book publishing, but that connection never came, which is all well and good because I don't believe the path through her was one I should've taken. That was the confirmation of what I should be doing with my gift.

So, I received 1) Confirmation of my gift, and 2) confirmation of what I should be doing with my gift. Now, mind you, I'd already started writing the book. Some of the stories are several years old, and I'd been actively working on new stories and essays, but I had no vision and no urgency and no commitment tied to what I was doing. I was using my gift, but I wasn't walking in it.

Here I am, now, prepared for people to start purchasing my book on the 1st of November. It's exciting and it has me nervous. I wonder how it will be received. Sometimes the things I say get misinterpreted, shadowed by what the other person hears or has experienced themselves, and the essays are incredibly personal, so I wonder... but, I'm not worried. Publishing this book wasn't just for me. It was a complete act of obedience, and I am incredibly proud about what God allowed me to create. Don't get it twisted, though, I just started walking in this gift. We've got a long path ahead.

I say all this to say, there is a difference between using our gifts and walking in our gifts. Many of us use our gifts every day—we sing, we cook, we write, we create, we encourage our friends, we do any number of things that God has blessed us with the talent to do—but we're doing it for ourselves or just our immediate circle, and God is calling us to do more. Bigger. Wider. Farther.

God does not call us to use our gifts for our own pleasures, He calls us to use our gifts for His purpose. Nothing He calls us to do is only about us (thank you, Mike Todd, for that lesson). God wants us to use our gifts to glorify Him, to help others (emotionally, spiritually, financially... there are so many ways He can use us to help other people), and to also reassure us of His goodness. Walking in my gift reassures me that it is from God. Whatever He does with it next will continue to reassure me that it is from Him.

One thing. Take one thing that God has given you and move forward. What has He already instructed you to do? What is He telling you to do now? You don't have to be 100% sure of yourself to move forward (I've been winging it with this entire self-publishing process, still am), you only need to be sure of God.

That's it, that's the tweet. Have a blessed Sabbath.

P.S. My book will be available for purchase Monday! Visit @ninetwo on Instagram for details.

-CH