I've been going back and forth for a while about my next move when it comes to my work. I've been burnt out for over a year, but I've been feeling pushed to leave since this past spring. I feel that it's God, though there's been no audible voice telling me to leave.

I do not like not knowing what's next. If I had a new position lined up, it wouldn't be so hard to move, but that's where faith comes in, right? There are so many things in my head, and in my spirit, that need to be given active attention so they can become reality. There are family members, one cousin in particular, I need to spend quality time with. I need to reduce my level of stress and overwhelm. I need to leave.

One thing about confirming what we think God is telling us is that we need to receive confirmation from the proper sources. At first, there were all these YouTube videos popping up about "The Great Resignation" and how all these people are leaving their jobs and why I should too. Every day, it seemed, there was a new video confirming I should leave my job. The thing about YouTube, though, is when you watch a video, the algorithm will recommend similar videos. So, technically, YouTube is not a proper source to confirm a move like this.

However, when the pastor of the church I rarely attend and rarely watch on livestream preaches a sermon the one day I decide to watch service in several months about purpose and gifts and exodus, my ears perk up a little. He says God has shaped each of us for a specific space He wants us to take up/move into/exist in, and so many of us are doing things we are not called to do. Some of us are avoiding the calling on our lives and others are so busy trying to make what we want to do work that we're missing out on the fullness of walking in our purpose. He said it's time to leave.

There's also a pastor online who I have enjoyed watching before. He's not an Adventist pastor, but he does really good sermon series. Last year, I watched his Relationship Goals series and I really enjoy it. His name is Mike Todd. He is energetic, creative, and powerful in his messages. I haven't watched him preach since early last year, and I'm not subscribed to his channel on YouTube, but there was a message by him in my feed recently. He's started a new sermon series called "Crazy-er Faith." I watched the first sermon and... confirmation!

The thing about watching Mike Todd, is I cannot listen to him passively like I can most other pastors. When I watch a Mike Todd sermon, I have to sit. I have to take notes. There are so many gems, so many instructions and reassurances... sometimes there's a slap in the face or two, and I have to pay attention. Just a few of the points I wrote down while listening to "The Command with No Cap":

Your strategy is God. You don't have to have it all planned out.

Elisha made sure he couldn't go back to what he was leaving to follow Elijah. When you walk in crazy faith, you burn the backup.

God doesn't care if you're emotional as long as you're obedient.

It may not make sense to you, but it's going to make a miracle for me.

The space between the vision God is showing you in your heart and you living it out needs to be filled with faith.

Don't put a limit where God didn't.

Beyond obedience is abundance.

What could God do with your life if you didn't put a limit on it?

If God wants to do something, why would you stop Him? Because of your fear?

Also, this series is running until the end of the year, which is the amount of time I've given myself to follow the nudging of God. Can we say CONFIRMATION?

There are several reasons I do not want to leave my job. However, like I told my therapist, if I do not follow God's prompting and leave on my own, He's going to find a way to make me leave, and I don't want to see what that looks like.

I have a habit of staying where it is safe, even if it feels uncomfortable. God and my therapist are challenging me to set aside my fear when making decisions over the next few months. Not just in my work, but in my relationships. There is a person I want to be with (I'm not thinking about forever, but for right now), but he's not free of challenges and the challenges scare me. One thing I know, though, is God has a habit of protecting me before I even know I need protecting, and I know He will keep me whether I decide to pursue this relationship or not.

One of the projects I want to work on was inspired by my recent need for God's protection and the help I needed to seek afterward. I don't have my head wrapped around it firmly because of the burn out from my day job, the second job I've taken on, the book publishing, and all the things I've piled on my plate in an effort to heal myself of something that I now know can only be healed by following the prompting of God and leaving my job.

Speaking of book publishing... my book will be available for purchase November 1st. Fair warning, I am not a Christian Writer. I am a writer who is Christian. The essays in this book are about my life, my insecurities, my fears, my mental health... the short stories are about learning lessons, community, otherworldly creatures, relationships. There is mention of sex, there are a couple curse words, there is a story about a non-existent spirit realm... however, nothing is particularly graphic. I want you to be clear about what you're getting if you decide to pick it up.

One of the things I love about God most is that He made me a creator. He gave me a vivid imagination and the ability to write/paint/craft whatever I can envision. I will never limit my gift and love of short stories to writing only what is factual and Adventist, it wouldn't be creative writing if I did, and it certainly wouldn't be as fun (nor would it be true to my gift). Do with that what you will.

I know I've gone off track a bit. My point is, I have known in my spirit for a while that God wants me to move on from where I currently am in my work life. I have no real idea where He wants to take me, or how we're getting there, but I've been receiving messages of confirmation from so many different sources that it would be blatant disobedience to God if I did not step out. I don't know where my income is going to come from, and that scares me. However, living in mediocrity, stress, and burnout when I can live in God's abundance (even if I'm afraid because I can't see what's next) is more frightening an outcome for my life than anything else.

I'm learning to stop allowing fear to make my decisions and to walk in faith instead. I intend to watch the entire Crazy-er Faith series, and I believe God will use it to my benefit as I come to making this big decision about my life and my work.

Tell me, are you walking on the path God has called you to walk? Are you filling up the space He has shaped you for? Are you still trying to find your space, or are you avoiding it?

Be blessed.

-CH

P.S. My book cover: