Good morning! Today's first kratom dose of the day is......

2 teaspoons of Super Green Malay and 2 teaspoons of White Bali kratom.

Breakfast was half a peanut butter sandwich and a handful of Tex Mex trail mix, iced green tea, assorted vitamins and painkillers on the side.

I seemed to have rested better last night but my right leg is bothering me and is more swollen so I'm going to forego the trip to Sierra's Haven. While there's no doubt that part of why I'm not going is anxiety motivated, I realize that yesterday, when I got emotional and teary eyed, I'm not quite ready to let go of Heidi's stuff yet. I know that sounds awfully selfish of me, especially since she wasn't even my dog (more Joe's dog than anyone else's). For the moment, I just see this as the final 'good bye' and I'm not ready. I'm putting undue pressure on myself to do this and I'm not ready.

Also, the whole parking lot thing has me worried too. It wouldn't be such an issue as usually, when I'm alone, I usually park as far from the front door as possible to get more exercise but with my right leg being so swollen and carrying a fair sized box, I'm more leery of me hurting myself so... yeah, it doesn't need to be done today or tomorrow and can wait. I brought the box in, in case the temps get hot outside before I finally get the box to it's destination..... there's canned food along with bags of unopened dog treats. I'm honestly trying to think this through logically and not let my anxiety totally get the better of me all the way around.

So...... for today, I'm going to weed out some of the TikTok videos of low impact work outs that focus on range of movement and try to put together an half hour work out that will do more than just get me moving. I'm also going to work on my Felici granny square, finishing up leftovers (there's burgers and smoked sausage/mac and cheese) and maybe a shower in there somewhere.

Stay tuned.....

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