Good morning! Today's first kratom dose of the day is......

2 teaspoons of Green Thai and 2 teaspoons of White Borneo kratom.

Breakfast was half a peanut butter sandwich with a spare handful of Tex Mex trail mix, with iced green tea, assorted vitamins and painkillers on the side.

I won't say that last night was a total loss as far as sleep goes but it wasn't my best night. I'm definitely taking a nap this afternoon. The good thing is that I didn't have to deal with any anxiety or panic attacks last night and haven't for a little while. I think it was when I started taking the magnesium that that changed. I did this because of a video that I saw on Dr. Mandell's channel. To be honest, some of what he posts comes across as trumped up waste of time but there's a few things that I've tried that either don't do any harm or actually seem to help. The magnesium video had to do with anxiety and stress, by increasing the amount of magnesium you're taking in, the less anxious and panicked you'd feel and.... it worked to a great extent.

At one point, I was unable to fall asleep due to feeling panicked and agitated and even though I still have trouble falling asleep, the panic and anxiety that I was suffering isn't nearly as bad as it was. I"m thrilled about that. The feeling of suffocation isn't there anymore, unless I let myself think about it and even then, I don't really feel any anxiety about it. I also think that drinking all that water all day long is helping me too. Although I did feel thirsty last night, it wasn't nearly as bad as it once was.

I harvested some greens from the garden and the new stuff that I just planted a few days ago is really taking off.

I"m happy to see the new planting is doing well.

I saw that there was a broken sunflower ......

Near the middle of the picture.

There's still no flowers on my peppers or my nasturtiums. I'm sort of disappointed at that but hey, I took a chance on planting everything this late any way. The zucchini is growing pretty well but I fear that that might be another all grow, no bloom. I"m trying not to be too dark and gloomy about that. I'd like to have a summer where I'm actually using produce from my own garden and not strictly buying from the store all the time. I have to keep the idea in mind that this whole summer is one of experimentation for me..... starting things later than usual, using grow bags and so on. I want to use this as a learning tool for myself, not a way of seeing myself as a less than perfect person who tried and failed (possibly miserably).

So many times, I fail at something and that's where my mind focuses.... on the failure and not what caused the failure or how to learn from it so next time will be better. Next year, I'll start earlier, have a better plan in mind, figure out where to put everything in a more timely manner (next year, all grow bags will be on the north side of the house....).

Stay tuned.......

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